After that fabulous morning we had, i wouldn’t have minded staying in bed and fucking for the rest of the day. Of course, that’s not how life works. At least, we don’t usually allow it to work that way. The plan of action was to head to pick up a gift, head to the airport to get a rental car (since none were available closer), visit his mother (t’was another reason for his trip), and then take me home.

I really enjoyed looking for the gift with him. He had something very specific in mind, and it wasn’t so much as a gift of surprise or for a purpose, but it was requested. He still needed to find the right thing though, and I felt honored, in a sense, to be able to help. I kept telling myself to not think of it so much as my duty (which it really naturally DID feel like to me) but to just think of it as something a friend would help another friend do. I don’t know why I felt the need to think that or why I felt the need to divulge that here, or why I’m still going with it…haha. *refocus*…

With the gift in hand we hopped in a cab and snuggled on the way to the airport. Again, I felt rather useful as I pointed out we should probably have begun paying attention to things when we got closer to the airport (so the cabbie didn’t circle for no reason!). When we DID get to the departure (since that was the only place he could really drop us off) he mentioned he preferred cash, so TM went in to find an atm and I stayed in the car. I didn’t mind, or feel awkward – only when the traffic folks came and started giving us crap for standing and waiting did I panic just slightly - ‘cause I thought we’d have to circle etc, and it’d be a waste of time. But, fortunately – just as that all was being sorted, TM showed up and all was well. He teased me and asked if I had thought he’d left me to the cabbie. Up until that point, I hadn’t and I was surprised and mad at myself for not having thought that. I should’ve been a bit more defensive or alert, I felt. I still feel that. I guess, I really had no reason to doubt TM then, nor do I now. Moving on…

We waited in line and I sort of quietly tried to process things – push away those unproductive thoughts of “I don’t want this to end.” And whatnot and instead focus on what little time we had left. It helped that he asked me to get him a drink (teas) – it gave me something to do. When I returned with the drink he was finishing up some paperwork or payment of sorts and we then headed to get the car. It was nice when we finally got to the car and well, to have him be driving for once, vs a cab. The downside of course, was that I couldn’t snuggle besides him. I got to be a little bit of a navigator though (there wasn’t much to navigate).

And so, we went to visit his mother and I made sure that it was ok and that he didn’t want me to wait in the car or take the train home or whatnot. I really didn’t want to be in his way, and while I trusted him to know what he needed to do, I just wanted to be extra sure that he knew I could find a way home otherwise and whatnot if he needed me to. The visit with his mother was not at all awkward as I had slightly anticipated. I was momentarily shook up when his dad arrived, as that was a surprise. Wow, I totally never intended to go into all this detail..haha. Dangit! I’m sorry (to whoever is reading...you? Master? Maybe you don’ really care…).

Ah wells, the important thing is that I got home safe and sound. He dropped me off a block or so from my house – but we chatted for about 15 minutes in the care before i got out. He also made me kiss him (again) and it was sooo hard for me to do it because well, I think kissing is gross. I don’t think I mentioned it in other posts, but we did kiss now and then but most of the time when he’d move in for one (or if I suspected it) I’d just end up giggling and turning away. So yes, I know, I’m silly or perhaps even immature. I think kissing is gross. TM says we’re going to work on that. I’m sure you’ll appreciate that, Master.

And thus, we have reached the end of the description of what happened a week ago from now. It’s such madness, as I sit and wonder if it was all a delusion…

I’d like to detail the events that occurred after my shower and before I fell asleep, but unfortunately it’s a bit of a blur. In fact, everything that happened between after my shower and breakfast the next morning sort of all blends together into one really nice dream-like recollection.

And so, I’m not sure how to continue with the details in a coherent, chronological manner. I guess, I’ll just sum up what happened and then go into a few of the details in no particular order.
Basically, there was a lot of fucking mixed in with some oral sex. There. That’s it. And so, how do I detail what I can’t remember happened exactly when? Well…

At some point that night…
- I sucked TM’s cock again, slightly better this time – he was on his back and I on the bed.
- He gave me my first experience(s) on the receiving end of oral sex.
- While he was on his back I climbed on top of him and rubbed my cunt over his cock.
- TM fucked my ass with me on my back, my legs/knees pulled back.
- TM came in my ass (again).
- I couldn’t fall asleep right away. A result of horniness, surreal-ness, mixed feelings bout the bf, too tired to sleep, and well, more horniness.
- I woke up at least twice, horny and either turned and snuggled with TM more, or nudged to see if he was awake lightly (and since he wasn’t) moved his hands over my tits, or between my legs. - I also vaguely remember being unable to turn him around to face me and so I just wrapped myself around him.

At some point that morning…
- I woke up around 6:30 almost 7am, I remember ‘cause I looked at the clock
- I waited anxiously for TM to wake up, decided I’d wait until at least 8am; he needed/deserved sleep
- At about 8:15am I couldn’t wait anymore and nudged him awake, whispering loudly to ask if he was awake.
- I said something like, “Master, I think you should wake up and fuck me.”
- He had me on top of him, cock in my ass…and I begged to be fucked on my back instead
- was fucked on my back
- he turned on his side and did the same
- I begged him to slap my cunt and LOVED it when he did (I had the “benefit” of it being left handed)
- he mentioned something about breakfast being late, or arriving soon
- I asked if it came, if I could answer it in a towel
- I said something about how he should clean up before breakfast arrived and crashed
- He left to do so, reminding me I’m a “punk” but then returned and ordered me to do it, so I went and retrieved two washcloths, warm – one with soap one without
- I cleaned off his cock and was instructed how do to so
- We exchanged oral (again)
- We 69’d and it was AMAZING (an amazing orgasm for me, and I believe him too.) I was screaming like mad with his cock in my mouth and LOVED being able to do so and receiving the sensations at my cunt at the same time
- in the above, managed to proudly get/feel his cock at the back of my mouth just touching the entrance to my throat
- received the first load of cum ever in my mouth…gagged on it, actually.
- was in a half-awake state as he checked on breakfast
- pulled blanket/covers to the floor to be close with TM as he sat on the couch and we waited for breakfast
- breakfast came and I hopped back to the bed to hide beneath the covers and not be tripped over
- we started on breakfast, but part of mine was missing so he took care of that for me
- lady came back with it and then we had to exchange something else ‘cause it looked fishy
- finally got to enjoy breakfast, I happily sat on the floor besides him
- somehow we ended up back on the bed
- was fucked at the edge of the bed with me on all fours
- was fucked bent over the bed (slid legs down from above position)
- I endured the fuck as I was worn from an orgasm and well, a bit tired in general
- screamed/moaned into the pillows
- was close to passing out when he stopped/said he was going to take a shower
- passed out while he was in the shower and woken up later
- was ordered to apply lotion all over his body and was thoroughly pleased to be asked to do so and very much enjoyed the task
- went to do all the morning hygiene duties with permission
- asked if he’d put lotion on my back and enjoyed the feeling of his hands once more
- asked if I could be dressed ‘cause otherwise we might never leave the room
- got angry at my pants (packed the wrong ones, they were too long) and ended up only dressed on the top and in panties
- sat at his feet while he worked on getting a rental car, hugging his leg now and then – rest chin at in his lap
- I nibbled more at breakfast remains
- took some pictures (this happened throughout the night..morning…)
- figured out plan of action

While time ticked away and we sort of sighed and said, “So much for attacking the day” with slight regret, I believe we were both rather satisfied with how we attacked the day in a different way…

Things happen.

Do things happen for a reason?

Or, do things happen as the result of a reason?

Only time can truly reveal that answer.

But then, i wonder:

what IS time?

A measurement of the space and happenings that pass between the moment we are born and the moment we leave. A measurement of something that is seemingly infinite. Perhaps, it's a measurement of life?

So i guess, time isn't going to bring me an answer as to why things happen or for what reason they happen or whatnot. Instead, life will reveal itself as it pleases, and i can only use time to gauge how long i've waited.

Perhaps, i shouldn't wait. Perhaps, i should go out and enjoy the now. But see, i AM enjoying the now. I didn't mind walking the straight and narrow once. I wouldn't mind doing that again now - though it'd be much more difficult. But that isn't what i want, i don't think.

What do i want?

If i can just figure that out, i won't care as much about when i get it, if ever.

I remember it being midnight at some point around when we had drinks. I’m not sure whether it was midnight before, during, or after, but my point is that it was getting late (if not late already) by the time we were back to the hotel. Now, before the trip I had mentioned that I love to take baths, but don’t do so often. So of course, eventual teasing led to playful jest about having a bath during our visit together. I decided that I was going to bring bubble bath.

Thus, when we got back to the hotel I asked if I could draw a bath and take one – and was given permission to do so. I put my stuff down, headed to the bathroom and get everything set with my favorite mango-mandarin bubble bath from Bath & body works. I stripped so I’d be dressed appropriate for TM and stepped back into the room to invite him to join me. He of course, was doing stuff at the desk and gave me a look of what I thought to be slight almost…disbelief at first (though I could be wrong). Either way, he mentioned he wasn’t appropriate dressed and I offered to help. I couldn’t help but giggle a tad as I headed over – my thoughts were so silly (“Of course, he can’t just come over and join you – you should’ve anticipated his request undress anyways”) and I was delighted that he was going to join.

After I had his shirt off, he stood up so I could remove his pants, boxers, socks, and such. I was kneeling, and was incredibly ready for a bath ( I LOVE bubble baths). However, I was patient and sucked his cock a bit at his order – though I’ll admit that while I tried to focus on giving him the most pleasure/arousal in that short time – my mind was already on the bath. Fortunately, he didn’t keep me at it long right then. I lead him to the bathroom and presented the bathtub full of bubbles and hot/warm water. He asked me how I wanted it to work, as in how we’d both fit and how I’d envisioned it. I hadn’t really thought it that far through – only that I wanted us both in there. So, on a whim I suggested I sit in back and he sit in front of me. Now, this didn’t end up working but it was for the better because when I stepped in I realized it was a tad hotter than I thought. I warned TM and when he dipped his foot in after me, he agreed. Thus, I was able to adjust the temperature properly before he got in. After he got in in front of me though, we realized it wasn’t going to work and switched so that he was in the back and I sat in front of him, back to him.

Honestly, I used to think sliding into a warm bubble bath was one of the most relaxing and wonderful feelings in the world. I can now say with experience that it’s even better if you’re sharing it with another. It was relaxing and arousing. Above all, it was comfortable. I slid back into his arms and his hands occasionally wandered my body. It seemed as if time ceased to exist, for I’m not sure how long we stayed in there. All I can remember of the bath is that his hands moved as they pleased around his property, and at one point he played with my cunt and bit my neck and I begged for him to play with my nipple until I came. There was one point where I slid back and tried to play with his cock behind me too, but that didn’t work out too well. I also nudged him now and then to make sure he hadn’t dozed – and remind him that we didn’t want to turn into raisins, or fall asleep and drown in the tub. I promised him I wouldn’t let him drown – and he wasn’t at risk of it since he was behind me. BUT, I hadn’t promised nor had he promised that I wouldn’t drown – and I kept slipping down.

Eventually, we sort of came up with a similar thought – that he wanted to fuck me in the ass while in the bath – but we weren’t sure how that’d work (space and such). TM had me lift myself along the sides and lower myself onto his cock. Now, this would’ve worked out better (longer) if my hands weren’t wet and slipping off the sides. I didn’t end up falling or anything, but it didn’t work out as well as I had hoped/wanted. I don’t think TM was feeling that position too much either. And so, we got out of the bath and I asked and was given permission to shower before joining him in bed.

I wasn’t sure how to fit this in, but when his hands would wander between my legs I instinctively spread them for him. This was on several if not all occasions…it just felt so…right. Anyway, again, the night was still relatively young.

Master,
I promise you, Master, that i am not full of apologies. Yes, i do my best to apologize when i am wrong but i also do my best not to repeat the wrong-doing for which i apologize for. It's a hard thing to do, especially since you're not...here...but i promise you, i'm doing my best and will continue to try for what i think you want until i do know what you want

i guess, i'm apoloizing this time because i feel as if i'm losing site of you. Between intensified feelings towards TM, the crazy crush i had (that randomly returns) and changing feelings with the bf, my take on relationships has been spiraling into unknown areas. i don't know how to stop falling into these traps of doubt.

Please, i'm begging you. Please, Master, i wish we could be together now. i just want to be curled up at your feet. Please, Master, please find me NOW.

i know that by my own will i want to finish college, internship and find a job and such before "settling" down or whatnot. But who knows if that's even what you'll want. of course, i'd hope you'd want what i want at least part of the time since you'd be my Master. I hoep that you'll get quite a chuckle when reading this....if you ever find me...

...if you exist...